Monday, December 22, 2008

reupholstering queens

So if your ever sitting at home on the weekend before Christmas and don't feel like you have enough to do even though you haven't come close to finishing your x-mas shopping and haven't wrapped a single present, why don't you reupholster your kids chair and couch set. And while your at it use a broken staple gun (we knew it wasn't working right but didn't realize it was broken, duh!) and a wobbly work table.

Yep I'm not kidding me and mom decided to reupholster my kids couches. Which ended up turning into a 14 hour project....NO JOKE!

Here's what we did, by the way we should go into business because these things turned out awesome

Here's what the chairs looked like.....we found them at a garage sale about a year ago

This is all the staples I pulled out of the chair, and oh that's my pile of fabric

All cleaned up and ready for upholstery

Here's the couch right before we reupholstered it, we did the couch first.

Look at that new fabric, so cute right. It's colorful sheet music in case you can't tell.

And the couch almost done....

Doesn't it look amazing, not finished yet though....

All done and ready for Christmas. Isn't it so freaking cute. I wanted to add a different color to it so those things on the arms (whatever the hell they are called) are in a yellow and white checkered pattern, and we are working on some pillows that are going to have the same print. And my mom gave me some lamps that are yellow and white checkered so we have plenty to bring that color into my kids room.
And after 14 hours of labor and bruised arms, hands and completely and totally exhausted we are done with both

Here they are (compliments of my phone, that's why such crappy pics), my kids are going to LOVE them
I can't believe how long these babies took but it was totally worth it they look like brand new chairs, and they are so SAWEEEET!!!!!
Me and the kids stayed at my moms the week and weekend of Thanksgiving and on Friday I called HWAG and asked him to bring the chairs when he came to get us. So when we got home that Saturday night SOS started crying because somebody broke in to our place and stole her chairs and ABB told her no Santa came and got them he's going to bring us new ones.
Then with us moving and my cousin in the hospital and everything we haven't' had time to reupholster them but we just had to considering Santa is bringing them to us and all.
I'm so glad they are done in time for x-mas.
On a side note
I can't wait to get a computer desk until then I might not be blogging very often cause this setup HWAG's got going on SUCKS.
In case I don't blog again until after Christmas
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!! have a happy and safe one.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Is the week over yet?!?

I am so (well) downright TIRED.

I am having such a busy (which never happens to me), and crazy week. I just thought I would let you all know what's been going on cause I might not be able to blog for a week or so (not that I blog all the time). But we are moving so I don't know how long we will have to go without internet.

My lil cousin (she's 12) had to have an aneurysm removed (it was right behind her left eye) on Monday, and I was at the hospital Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday helping take care of her. She was doing great they had moved her out of ICU before I left on Wednesday. But I guess now she's not doing so great she can't see out of that eye at all, she's finding it extremely difficult to walk. So they moved her back to what they call square one which means no getting out of bed, taking her meds every 4 hours, letting her sleep longer. They had planned on sending her home in 2 to 3 day's and now they have to keep her longer, they also want her to go to a rehab center after she leaves the hospital. They just took her and had another CT done, the doctor thinks it may be another aneurysm. Just keep praying for her. And thanks so much for all your prayers.
My aunt called me tonight and said that her youngest son broke his arm at school today (same family).

Did I mention I haven't been home much, my kids are a bit angry with me for leaving them for 3 day's so I have been paying the price for that, plus it probably doesn't help that I'm exhausted. But it really did feel like they laid 3 day's worth of crying, wining and fighting (with each other) on me today.

I felt like the house was falling apart when I got home. I'm sorry HWAG I know you tried (and he did) but I was so stressed about the house today; my hubby didn't pack one box all week. I was so stressed all day I packed and cleaned up all day today and I babysat and had my own kids. I know wha wha wha wha, I'm aloud to complain it's my blog.

WE ARE MOVING!!! Yey, and yes I am happy, no more crabby neighbors (I hope) and no more up stairs, and finally a 3 bedroom. Yey be happy with me. I had to go sign for the new apartment today and I called them to make sure we were good to go and they had us moving in on Monday so none of the paper work was ready, the apartment wasn't finished yet (maintenance was putting carpet in when I called). I was so mad they just had put the wrong date down, but you know HWAG had already got Friday and Sunday off so we could move. So I had to fight to get the keys, I'm sure they hate me, but I got the keys. Again yey. We can start moving in

I'm still reading my book, I'm learning so much and being tested to the max (like with today). But I'm handling myself way better. I'm handling my kids way better too. Duh right.

Well I guess I should go finish packing.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Volcanoes 101

Here she blows. Really here's more from the book.....

She's Gonna Blow! Real Help for Moms Dealing with Anger by Julie Ann Barnhill

My relating to the second chapter Volcanoes 101. Understanding How She Blows

In these chapters she goes on to describe 4 different kinds of volcanoes and comparing them to our momma blow ups or like I like to call them freak out moments. The four volcanoes are The Strombolian, The Hawaiian, The Vulcanian, and The Plinian (I'm not going to go through what she says about them all, only mine again).

And MINE was quit easy for me to identify. I'm in with The Strombolian eruptions or blow ups, whatever you want to call them.

When this volcano "blows" it's eruptions sound a lot like the din of a powerful jet engine at close range, and it spits out volcanic materials such as cinders and thick, pasty lava bombs. But because the eruptions are relatively short and happen at predictable intervals, the Strombolian would seem to be one of the least threatening volcanic eruptions. After all, how much damage can a few cinders do?

So Strombolian eruptions=predictable, short-lived, and seem to blow over with little residual damage. Only not, repeated small eruptions and cinder showers can eventually bring about as much damage as any other kind of eruption.

Once again my heart is left aching and sad, this is who I have become as a mom.

I always feel regret after I do or say things I know I shouldn't to me kids, It's a horrible feeling and it's keep me up many a night (which is what it sounds like it did to her too) .

She gives some hints as to how to short-circuit a volcanic explosion such as concentrating on your physical reactions. Remind yourself to breathe deeply and slowly, concentrating on the flow of air in and out of your lungs. Consciously relax your facial muscles--unclench your jaw and teeth, raise your eyebrows to smooth out your forehead, unpurse your mouth. Deliberately stretch out your hands (which may be clenched into fists) and roll your shoulders to relax your neck. By changing your physical response to anger, you may be able to cool down your emotional response as well.

I have already started using her techniques and have stopped a few explosions. It feels really good to focus your attention on your muscles (it really is helping me to relax).

A quick story, I have battled with depression for a long time and my last doctor (who I totally laughed at (out loud)) suggested that I do yoga cause it would help (you know with the relaxing of my muscles, which could possible help with the depression). My bad, maybe yoga wouldn't be such a bad thing for me after all.

Volcanic Dangers
Volcanic eruptions are dangerous! Even the relatively "safe" Strombolian eruptions have the capacity to cause long-lasting harm, and the more violent kinds of explosions can destroy your family. Here are just a few examples of what you can damage with your angry outbursts:
  • Your children's sense of security
  • Your spouse's trust
  • your relationship with God

It doesn't have to be that way so Strombolian moms, we must unite! No more excuses and no more whispered prayers of "please don't let them remember." No more!

I love what she's saying, I love finding peace and comfort and help in her beautiful words and wisdom.

Questions and Answers :/

1. What is your most consistent style of erupting in anger? Does it resemble one of the four volcanoes described here, or would you describe it another way?

I've answered this above, I'm a Strombolian momma, I would have to say the only thing I do that's not described is throw crap but never at my kids.

2. What is your greatest fear concerning your eruptive anger and your children?

I would have to say my kids sense of security, I want them to feel completely safe in my home.

3. Has there been a time when you knew, without a doubt, that your anger was uncontrolled, out of bounds, and potentially harmful to your children?

No. I stick to only yelling at my kids, but I believe (like she said) it's doing more damage then what I actually know.

WOW Volcanoes 101 was a hard chapter for me, but I learned so much about my kids, myself , and my type of anger (explosions). But she gave some great tips to start working on and I've already been able to use them. Please pray for me, I will be praying for myself, bettering myself and focusing on changing my ways. And I will remember to spend time enjoying my kids every day.

I love my kids, and I can be a good mom.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

How did I get here?

HWAG has been sending me links (to help with parenting), not just for me but he's been reading them and when he reads one he thinks can help us to be better parents he sends them to me. They have been really helpful and have been spot on, but they have been a real wake up call at the same time.

So I thought to myself, you have a million and one parenting books pick one up and read it, it's not like you can't use the extra help. So I grabbed all of my (parenting) books and sat down and started to read the backs of them, got to the bottom of the pile and picked up She's Gonna Blow! I didn't need the back to decide this is the book for me.

The book is She's Gonna Blow! Real Help for Moms Dealing with Anger by Julie Ann Barnhill

I'm really identifying with the book and I know this post is going to leave me totally vulnerable but I really feel the need to share some of what I've read and to answer some of the questions (she asks ? at the end of every chapter), if my opening up can help anybody else that's dealing with anger it will be worth it.
I'm still reading the book and I deal with anger (almost) everyday, try not to be too judgemental, because I am working on bettering myself.

The first chapter is How did I get here? Some unwelcome discoveries about motherhood, anger, and really blowing it.

She goes on to tell some stories of times she has been completely angry with her kids, and she even tells how she has reacted to them....ouch. You'll have to read the books to hear her stories (this is about mine).

She asks what kind of mother am I? With this in response to her own question Before I had kids I planned on being "a good mother"
  • dynamic
  • involved
  • compassionate
  • fun
  • inspiring
  • loving

and then "honestly, I didn't have a clue"

Now her list reads more like

  • impatient
  • discontent
  • irritable
  • depressed
  • disappointed
  • angry

I couldn't begin to tell you how much THIS IS HOW I FEEL. I totally understand this. It makes my heart sad and ache, but this is me.

Questions and Answers :/

1.Have you experienced an "aha" moment of mothering? Where did it take place and who was involved? What is the most surprising fact you have learned about yourself since becoming a mother?

Yes recently in fact, I think I mentioned in another blog that we had been having a hard time with ABB, he was scribbling on all his school work. Well I was getting mad and I tried different ways to get him to stop such as taking things away from him, spanking, yelling. Then one day I was like "aha" he keeps doing this because he's getting so much (negative) attention from it so I started only focusing on the good work he brought home, and "aha" we only get awesomely colored pictures now. Most surprising would have to be the anger.

2. What parenting issues tend to be trigger points for your particular kind of anger? Under what particular circumstances do you tend to "lose it"?

I "lose it" when I feel like nobody is listening to me, when I just keep saying the same thing over and over and I'm getting know where, or I get a NO, or an I don't want to. And if it's a day when I feel like I have a million things to do, I really "lose it" then.

3. How did you tend to communicate your feelings of anger before children-verbally? physically? through withdrawal or silence? Has your "anger style" changed since becoming a mother? Is the intensity level lower or higher?

I would have to say before children it was mostly silence, but if I was really and I mean really angry I would get physical with people. I would have to say yes my style has changed, and my intensity level is way higher, I don't think I have ever been as angry as I get now.

4. What childhood or early adulthood ideal of "good" mothering have you regretted giving up the most? Stop and consider how much influence these resentments are playing out in your anger toward your children.

I would have to say working outside the house and having time (in everyday) to just enjoy the kids.

5. Name two moms you know who seem to be struggling with anger toward their kids. How could you use this book as a tool to develop creative conversations and encourage one another towards change?

I know a few mom's I would love to tell about this book, unfortunately at this time I don't talk to them. But I'm hoping that blogging about what I'm reading and my own struggles will help any other moms who come across my blog.

6. Are you harboring any secrets in regard to your anger and your behavior-things you do and feel when no one is around? Who would have a difficult time believing your story of anger?

No I'm pretty open in sharing when I have done or said something wrong, I always tell HAWG, it's important to me that he knows I feel overwhelmed at times and need his help. I have told close friends and family members too, I don't want to ever hurt my kids so If I start getting that angry I get help and walk away. I guess a lot of time's I feel like running from my life instead of sticking it out here, I don't always share (every time I feel that way).

I just wanted to add that I don't get physically abusive with my kids but I do yell (a lot), and I do have to walk away so I don't hit them and I say things I shouldn't say like "I wish I wasn't a mom". I do have moments where I totally freak out and throw things across the room, and I have broken down crying in front of my kids, that's just to name a few things. And for some reason my freak out moments always happen after work (my work is babysitting). I start to feel overwhelmed at dinner time and that seems to be the time when my kids start freaking out.

I love my kids, and I can be a good mom.

Monday, December 1, 2008

100 Books in 1 year-November

I'm so enjoying trying to read 100 books (it's never going to happen, well not in 1 year anyways), but boy I am enjoying it. I have read more books in the past 3 months then I ever have before (I'm guessing).

Here's my list


1.Secrets of a Shoe Addict-Beth Harbison
2. The Great Gatsby-F Scott Fitzgerald
3. Twilight-Stephenie Meyer
4. New Moon-Stephenie Meyer


5. Eclipse-Stephenie Meyer
6. Breaking Dawn-Stephenie Meyer


7. Dreams-Barbara Delinsky (3 books in 1)
8. Family Tree-Barbara Delinsky
9. The Guardian-Nicholas Sparks
10. Cardinal Rules-Barbara Delinsky
11. Gemstone-Barbara Delinsky